When You Get What You Want, It’s Never Enough.

I prayed to win a scratch off lottery and I wanted if for a specific purpose and my ticket won. Just Enough. That’s what god provides me. Just enough. I’ve tasted top wines, but not the toppest. And I want more.

Late last summer a miracle occurred and i wasn’t looking for it. It kinda happened.  Just by it’s sheer awesomeness, it caused other complications. Two great ideologies clashing over a generational gap. I sit inside as the day has brightened and listen to a leech berated. So many great things, so many shortcomings. Elation and regret in the same cup. My favorite wines are 1983 Lynch Bages purchased in 1999 at the incorrect price. Should have been $34.99, was $16.32, paid cash, out the door. 1990 Hermitage on Christmas Eve, a Sassicaia drunk in the 2003, my first great Barolo, and a Pertinace barolo in a restaurant, the one true wine list wine that sang to me. Pol Roger Churchill Cuvee Champers.

I kinda wanna do things but the mercurial nature of my cohorts makes it near impossible to gauge the when and where. I have had to stop doing things for people and put myself first and not caretake, I wanna caretake this one, but it is hard to understand just what is needed as it changes day to day. Anger and disdain for foolishness, even whimsy are their heraldic shield.

So i ride the wave. It is better and has progressed. Leaving me to ask;

“Am I selfish for asking?  Are they selfish for not giving it?”

I’d like to think it was 50/50. But I’m the bitcher. I accept, but 5 nights doing the same thing and one doing different stuff seems very reasonable. Yelled at for trying to plan, scolded for not planning. The rock and hard place scenario. Damned if, damned if not.

I did win a minor, minor sum in scratch gambling cards, And I appealed to the heavens and it twas granted

Absolutely no unique birds today.   :c